Very Bad Archive
bad poetry
Steve Turner
My self-imposed mission is to give a second opinion to those poor twisted souls who write junk like this:
bad poetry
Kung Pao
i want to read bad poetry and very poor poetry too
who likes to discriminate
is my literary agent
he doesn't like it when i talk
about hamster breaking ranks
and lines
'bad poetry!' he screams at me
from across the sushi place that sells sushi as bad as bad poetry
'and i'll publish my poems where i want and as many times as i want,' i say calmly or almost calmly to him
i sit down again and have a stomach ache and can't order anything
and that's what i almost say to him
but then my eyes hurt too and i can't really see or it seems like i can't
really see out of them and how
this is going to end too
badly
The title takes it all by Steve Turner
Kung Pao couldn’t come up with a really original
Idea for a poem
So he made one up,
Superfluous, attempting to be profound
He needs to go into a very dimly lit
Marxist goat-roper café
Somewhere in downtown
Greeley Colorado
And read this crap out loud
Or Maybe Brush or Sterling
Where they don’t serve sushi
But Rocky Mountain Oysters
Who the fuck cares?
And afterwards no one gives a crap
About his vision, his foresight, his aftersight,
What is the percentage of return?
What are the market prices in 4 weeks down the road?
Who is going to pay his life insurance
When some biker on a Harley gives him
A traumatic brain injury?
The reason this is going badly
Is he doesn’t have any clue
Why his literary agent said
“I couldn’t sell this shit to whores in Harlem”.
And when he wants to publish his own poems
Marxist goat-roper bikers from Greeley
And Brush and Sterling will get out their
Kerosene, arcwelders, and say
“I’ll give you a stomache ache,
From Clostridium difficile, or a kick in the scrotum!”
Steve Turner has published 2 more terrible poems since joining on 30/11/99. Read more of Steve's terrible poetry at the anthology. Here are three of Steve's latest works: