Very Bad Archive
You're just a guy
Steve Turner
My analysis of an awful poem:
You're just a fag by Steve Turner
I can’t believe you really wanted to do me, I feel like when I’m with you I’m so uncomfortable
With guys like you I cringe and can’t be myself
With you I feel like the Marquis de Sade, or perhaps Cardinal Richelieu or Raimundo de Penafort
The thing is, (punctuation needed here) you see me as Homer Simpson
You have no clue as to how you make me feel
All I can say is, (punctuation needed here) I’ll use grape jelly on the barrel of the AA-12
As I pull the trigger
You will then make me laugh, smile and feel beautiful
I promise to wear latex gloves so I don’t become exposed to your blood or body fluids
How will you you stand up to all that, you, a fag?
No fag can possibly be this great!
It’s almost too good to be true!
I feel like I’m stuck in a Martin Scorcese film
I’m waiting for gratuitous sex and violence (wait a minute; forget the sex)
Then when I wake up there will be 911 calls and I will claim self-defence
And when I talk with the police it will be real
And they will say it was real
And the AA-12 will be real
But you will not be real
But the reality of this is, my use of the AA-12 is a joke
The only problem is you are the recipient of the punch-line. Isn’t that great?
Your Just a Guy
by Nichole
I can't believe how great you make me feel!
I feel like when I'm with you all I can do is have a great time!
With guys I'm shy and I can't be myself!
With you I am myself!
The thing is you see me for me!
You have no clue how great you make me feel!
All I can say is I hope I am returning the favor!
You make me laugh, smile, and feel beautiful'
How can you do all that, you, a guy?
No guy can possibly be this great.
It's almost like it's too good to be true!
I feel like I'm stuck inside of a great dream.
I'm waiting to be pinched, so I can wake up and come to reality.
But when I talk or I'm with you it's real
You are real this is real.
You take my jokes and I take yours!
How can you be so great?
Steve Turner has published 2 more terrible poems since joining on 30/11/99. Read more of Steve's terrible poetry at the anthology. Here are three of Steve's latest works: