Very Bad Archive
When Alistair Ponce Came to Town
Mad-Mike
When Alistair Ponce came to town,
The peoples clapped and cheered,
For none had seen such fashioness
On such a tawdry weird.
He stood a-tall at six-foot nine
And weighed at thirteen stone
The silkliness of his purply suit
Did hide his skin and bone.
His wavy hair a-brown and grayed
Did tossel in the wind.
His smile and cool appraising stare
Their cautions did rescind.
His mussy-stash beneath his nose
Had hid his speeching lips.
His eyes entranced the eager crowd;
He lulled them with his quips.
When spoke he did, and well he did,
The peoples hushed and heard,
As ravenous as hunger they
Consumed his every word.
His voice was as the bourbon dark,
In strong and mellowed hues,
It waft its’ way among the folk,
Their senses he subdued.
He wrapped their thoughts around his
Little finger; they were his.
And convinced them all to offer up
Their nest-eggs for his biz.
Their tip jars, bonds and savings
They invested as His whim.
‘Twas the opportunity they sought;
Accordingly to Him.
And whence he had squeezed all them dry
Of all their worldly wealth,
Departed from their town did he
With ninjatsu-like stealth.
When Alistair Ponce came to town,
The sheeples he had fleeced.
For none had seen such slickliness;
Prosperity had ceased.
Beware you sheeples of the world,
Lest this should hap to you.
Invest not with the Ponce’s schemes
And give your money to me instead…
- Michael Mannon
Oct 24, 2007
Mad-Mike has published 2 more terrible poems since joining on 30/11/99. Read more of Mad-Mike's terrible poetry at the anthology. Here are three of Mad-Mike's latest works: