Very Bad Poetry

I don't know where tis one came from. It could have been from here. But it is so bad I was compelled to respond in my own unique way. The first part is the original author's; the second is my reply----

I: If dog germs were all that dangerous,
If one ought never to accept a kiss,
If dog lips should be strangers to us,
Then I am not writing this.

II: Here is a secret I will never tell:.
I liked Live Free and Die Hard a lot.
Ol’ Brucie still rings this mama’s bell...
‘Sides, he’s good to De-mee an’ the tots.

III: I dine on soy for my arteries’ sakes.
Stuff tastes great with hot fudge.
A health guru I will never make.
From my principles, I will not budge.

IV: Patience may not be my forte.
I’ve got better things to do.
If you are the patience-expecting sort,
Forgive me if I yell at you.

V: There would be a verse six,
But Roman numerals, like rhyme, are work.
Like trolling for Pick-Up Stix,
It is a chore I prefer to shirk.

b’ba, y’all


My dissertation:

12th from the 7th

I had a sore on my leg
A dog licked it, knowingly
I will not french kiss a dog
Because I know its tongue had just been on its anus

Including the thought of Bruce Willis
Into poetry is like including Malcolm X
In a Ku Klux Klan rally
I don’t care who’s ringing who’s bell, it’s gone to hell

Labial juices are great for relaxation
It doesn’t mean they are for everyone
But metichlorines and mitochondria rejoice
When clitoraee quiver and shake

I spake, and then I spoke
Waiting for an answer from the cosmos
Screaming from the top of Long’s peak
To be smitten by a lightening bolt, my hair frizzled

Who knows if there is more to this crap
I wouldn’t write it further
Then why am I penning another word
When all I want to is to listen to Styx?

The bottom line is:

"If dog lips should be strangers to us,
Then I am not writing this."

Then don’t. Steve

Steve Turner has published 2 more terrible poems since joining on 30/11/99. Read more of Steve's terrible poetry at the anthology. Here are three of Steve's latest works: