Very Bad Archive
The Many Types of Shit's
Evan Esparza
This is the catelog of Dubious John,
A man who lived in a cabin of dung.
Fascinated with pooh,
He loved it's you know who,
because he wrote the book on the subject.
Entry the first, he declared with authority,
Is the type of shit that comes out at forty,
Sad and lonely the shit has past it's age,
Flush it down the pipe and lets play again!
Ever shit swamp moss?
It's that kind of shit that is green with algae bubbles.
Or what about the ant hill?
It has to rise out of the toilet water in under 30 seconds of shitting to qualify.
And then there is the balloon animal,
Sweet Jesus you're ass is so amazing it can make animals.
Then there is the surf,
Where you shit sand that settles at the bottom,
Sometimes I see Frankie Avalon surfing the big one,
While I'm fucking his bitch on the pooper.
And though Bob Marley is dead, Jah rest his soul,
His dreads appear in my toilet,
Like layers of corn rows.
This is one ganj I wouldn't recommend smoking,
I smoked this shit and got Sickle Cell.
That might have sounded racist, but! but!
Shit is pure!
It doesn't discriminate,
Worth it's weight in gold,
We all have a lot to learn.
Especially the big nose Jews.
Evan Esparza has published 2 more terrible poems since joining on 30/11/99. Read more of Evan's terrible poetry at the anthology. Here are three of Evan's latest works: