Very Bad Archive
Soaps Brains
Robert Hawkins
All those brains.
What?
We are suppose to use them to?
How many soaps does mankind need use?
The one you use to wash dishes in your sink.
Would be a fast slap on the hands if you put the same liquid,
In the dishwashing machine.
Couldn't the one to cut grease an oil from pots and pans.
Possibly work on the grease an oil on ones head an hair?
Will the soap they make for my car that effectively,
Removes bug juice an tar.
Work on a kids fungus face.
Tell me they can't make one
soap that gets rid,
Of my dogs tics an fleas.
And work just as well on the skid marks in my,
Girlfriends underwear.
And make both dog and drawers sparkly clean.
Why not?
She can put a stinky crap filled diaper,
In with my best shirt and it works.
Powdered soap for the dish
machine,
Earns a heady headfilled scream.
One would have thought,
I put the baby in with the clothes,
In the washing machine.
Christ, I know enough to know to just put the kid
in the bed of the truck.
And drive through the car wash.
Look around our shower.
She has what must be a dozen tubes, bottles an bars.
Each has some vague purpose.
My guess to clean separately her hair,
Face,tits, crotch and feet.
I don't think she needs all that.
One bottle of tub an tile cleaner,
She can get her an the tub clean.
Or she can share just one
bar with me.
Who an in what devious mind
dreamed up all these soaps.
Knowing full well in using
his brain,
The rest of mankind wouldn't.
rlh
See! See, this is exactly
what I was talking about.
Take a ordinary brain like
his an hammer it with
that music and smoking those
weeds. And this is the result. Grandpa Hawkins
Robert Hawkins has published 2 more terrible poems since joining on 30/11/99. Read more of Robert's terrible poetry at the anthology. Here are three of Robert's latest works: