Very Bad Archive
Set Phasers to STUN
dov Spinks
Why oh why did Captain Kirk
Shirk the full purpose of owning a gun
And insist on his crew setting phasers to STUN?
Why couldn’t just once that little goodie two-shoes
Abuse the moral code – inviolate
And turn the damn dial to obliterate?
Many a long-winded episode could’ve
(Or should’ve) found swift cessation
With just 5 minutes of rash & brutal annihilation.
Take a hint from Daleks
Heck! They never had any debate,
No niceties – no mercy – just EXTERMINATE!
Or the Terminator – clad in flesh
Fresh from our own apocalyptic future
Intent on destroying every living creature,
Wearing dead men’s clothes
And, I saw, toting instead
A gun with just one switch – Alive or DEAD!
Even such sci-fi types as Blake
For heaven’s sake would whack those fascist Federation pricks
On the back of the head with a crude wooden stick
So c’mon Kirk – don’t be a wimp
Simply re-route all the power from the reverse thrust shield generators into the flux capacitor inverter via the modulated drive converters and (with full intention) blast those buggers into another dimension!
dov Spinks has published 2 more terrible poems since joining on 30/11/99. Read more of dov's terrible poetry at the anthology. Here are three of dov's latest works: