Very Bad Archive
Leadfootasaurus
Max Ebrag
The story as it goes,
Started along time ago,
And only now have archaeologists discovered.
Petrified remains,
Of car parts much the same,
As some of NASCAR’s most beloved.
Now as far as they can tell,
Safety standards were far from swell,
No seat belts or helmets have been found.
Sun roofs were definitely a given,
Needed if a car were to be driven,
By prehistoric lizards... around.
You can imagine they all cheated,
By the way these cars were treated,
Apparently smashing each other with their tails.
Dinosaurs with a need for speed,
Replaced by humans with a need for greed
And this is where the story changes trails.
Was that the roar of an engine?
Or a real live Dinosaur?
Can you believe it Kids??? It was both!
So bust open your piggy bank,
Or give your parents a wine,
Failure to purchase might just stunt your growth
If there's one thing boys like, It's dinosaurs.
If there's a second thing boys like, It's race cars
A marriage of the two?
These two will do.
And money will be printed.
With extremely large heads and small arms,
Small brains and driving skills, Subpar,
Once these two are mated.
Paint was surely traded.
And cars were most likely dented.
Bring out the tyrannosaurus wreck-ers…
How bout a pterodactyl life flight???
From Malaysia they'll be shipped,
Kids rushing to the toy isle will be tripped,
By adult collectors with storage space rented.
An animated series is soon to follow.
Perhaps some children's books as well.
Heck, maybe a feature length feature,
All acting as some kind of marketing preacher,
A rising tide of cash, consider my spirits and bank account lifted.
Max Ebrag has published another poem since joining on 30/11/99. Read more of Max's terrible poetry at the anthology. Here are three of Max's latest works: