Very Bad Archive
I Always Wanted to be an Actress
Amrita Gupta
I always wanted to be an actress
Walk a red carpet
Be someone else, just for a while
Indulge in someone else’s role
Maybe if enough people loved me
I’d be convinced to love myself
And I wouldn’t be alone anymore
Because I would like myself
I wouldn’t have to be myself
I could be a character
Be someone else for a living
Watch my fake life unfold in front of the camera
My life could be a script, a scene
Nothing besides the cameras
Except an apartment
And carrying out basic tasks
Even if I was nothing behind the camera
People wouldn’t know
People wouldn’t care
They would only care about who I pretended to be
I always wanted to be an actress
But I don’t think I could live with the guilt
Not doing anything good
Wasting my life
If people were suffering
And all you did was make movies
And indulge yourself
Could you live with yourself?
I couldn’t, I know
That’s why I can’t be an actress
I couldn’t harden myself like that
And do nothing worthwhile
I couldn’t live knowing I was worthless
If I do good, honest work
Maybe I’ll think something I’m doing
Is helping others
If I were to be an actress
I don’t think I could live it down
So much money and fame
I wouldn’t be worth it to other people
People I could have been helping
Lives I could save, even
I know I could do it
I definitely couldn’t be an actress
Amrita Gupta has published 2 more terrible poems since joining on 30/11/99. Read more of Amrita's terrible poetry at the anthology. Here are three of Amrita's latest works: