Very Bad Poetry

Once I found a snail's digestive tract on my doorstep.
(my bike wheel had crushed its owner the night before.
A cornucopia of cannabilistic slugs descended on it in an orgy of feasting and fucking,
until no soft tissue remained and all eggs were fertilised.)

Then I found a sodden hairball on my doorstep, in the exact same spot.
It had clearly been irritating its Creator's throat for some time, and the snail guts
had cat-alysed some much needed relief.

I flicked it away with a stick, but it hit the back of a car
and slid down to just above the boot keyhole.
I went to get the hose, but the owner came out and drove off in my absence.
When he came back it was all air-dried and cemented on, so I left it unto my neighbour.

Then a couple of missionaries knocked at my door. I stood in the doorway,
adjusting my position so that the Elder had to step on the spot.
Almost told him I thought he had gum on his shoe, but smirked instead
as the 'Good News' reached my ears. He mistook my expression for joyous rapture.

Dammit.

eppo nimmus has published 2 more terrible poems since joining on 30/11/99. Read more of eppo's terrible poetry at the anthology. Here are three of eppo's latest works: