Very Bad Archive
Evil Cookies of Doom
Michael Reed
My hands tremble when I open a fortune cookie
I think the restaurant owner hates me
or maybe one of the chinese cooks
Some fortunes I have received have been very specific:
later today you will step into a large hole and be eaten alive by fire ants;
some exceptionally vague:
something terribly bad will happen to you soon.
Other fortunes I have received have been similarly unfriendly:
you will inherit a great sum of money, then waste it on frivolous items and end up homeless;
you have a deep affection for goat's fur;
you are talented in many ways, but none of them will make you any friends or money;
you are a degenerate;
the fact that you are reading a note stuffed inside a cookie plainly indicates that you are a complete loser.
I no longer eat at this restaurant
and thereby my luck has improved.
Michael Reed has published 2 more terrible poems since joining on 25/5/07. Read more of Michael's terrible poetry at the anthology. Here are three of Michael's latest works: