Very Bad Archive
Dave Russell
Casey Gallagher
Casey Gallagher
Dave Russell
The meanest bully in the schoolyard.
Represents the leather jacket
With the greased up hair.
Constantly smoking cigarettes
He was the meanest kid on the block.
Everyday Dave would patrol recess
Always taking kids lunch money
You would never mess with Dave.
Dave would extort candy from each classroom
One time Dave was in a bad mood.
Dave gave Johnny a wedgie so big
He had to get surgery in his anus.
Dave would torment the youth like a baby Hitler.
Nobody would mess with Dave Russell.
Dave had a twin brother named Matt.
They looked identical
But Matt was peaceful.
Matt studied Ghandhi
Martin Luther King
Even the Buddha.
Matt was modern peace revolutionist.
The pairing of these two are polar opposites.
How could one be so evil
And one so peaceful and good?
Is this the yin and yang?
It all happened at birth.
When they left the womb
Dave lived with his Mother
Matt with his Dad
Daves mother was the wicked witch of the west.
She corrupted Dave into the monster he is today.
Dave thinks of himself as the Devil.
Committing any sin he could.
Everyday at school Dave would fight with Matt.
Matt would never fight back but only put Dave into perspective.
Dave, angry at this wouldn’t know what to do.
So Dave ended up beating up Johnny.
Johnny went to the hospital
Dave went to jail.
This was the end of Dave Russell.
Casey Gallagher has published 2 more terrible poems since joining on 30/11/99. Read more of Casey's terrible poetry at the anthology. Here are three of Casey's latest works: