Very Bad Archive
An Teacher's Introduction
Nathan Weatherup
So you want an introduction
An outline of me
Seems an odd request
At least to some degree
If you can’t quite tell
I’m like an open book
They couldn’t shut me up
Even with all the Ritalin I took
Got my first life-time ban
What I was just three
That bowling alley nursery attendant
Shoulda just let me be
I know it would now be
Labeled a disability
But back in ‘93
“stupid” is how you pronounce A.D.D.
I’m from Detroit
That’s why I sport the “D”
No matter where I go
It’s always home to me
Blue collar, white collar
Middle-class with a “but”
If you drive a foreign car
Them tire’s getting’ cut
I give my brother crap
For going green
Not because I disagree
But because I believe
There’s a difference between
Making a difference
And making a scene
Call me a cynic
Cuz you see the glass half-full
I don’t know how I see the glass
But I can smell your bull
I’m simple, really
T-shirts and jeans
Eating pop tarts
Quoting Ghostbusters scenes
I rock my rocking chair
like it's hot
Don’t think I’m fooling myself
I know it’s not
My knees are blown out
And my back is a mess
Who knew being a choir boy
Could cause so much stress?
After 8 years on tour
With choirs, you’d think
I could write rhymes
That didn’t really suck
I mean stink
What else is there to say?
What truths have I hid?
I used to get strep throat
When I was a kid
I can clap one-handed
Isn’t that neat?
Actually, it’s pretty sad
When that’s your greatest feat
What’s left. . . my name is Nate
I think I’m pretty great
Most of my dinners come
On a microwavable plate
I’m broke, don’t laugh
It’s just not that funny
People say “you must love the kids,
It’s sure not the money.”
But on that point
I must agree
cuz I know I’m screwing myself
With this Master’s degree
Well I guess that’s it
A fair sketch of my life
A little bit of pain,
Some laughs and some strife
I used to think I was
Just an average Joe
But now thank to
The teaching program I know
That I’m a racist, privileged, out-of-touch, pampered, canonical-literature-reading, elitist
Joe
Nathan Weatherup has published since joining on 30/11/99. Read more of Nathan's terrible poetry at the anthology. Here are three of Nathan's latest works: