Very Bad Poetry

You always understood me
Every time I was sad
When I was tired, you helped me up
And sometimes even carried me

You were my favorite person
You could finish my sentences
Even though I loved you
I wasn’t in it for myself

I could hear the suffering in your voice
Feel it in your poems
I understood you so much
Too much

Every time you were in pain
I could have said
“I understand!”
I could have said, “I love you.”

Always, you thought no one cared
I was right in front of you
I comforted you when you were scared
But did I really do any help?

All your tales of struggling and despair
That were as fictional as everything real
I wanted to hold you
Tell you I loved you

So brave, you were
I looked up to you
Nothing else mattered
As long as I could be with you

You comforted me
But was I a help to you?
You told me, but you didn’t let me in
All I wanted was for you to be happy

Even though you inadvertently hurt me
You mistook me for someone different than I was
And sometimes I was an alien, even to you
I only wanted you to be happy

A selfish part of me
Wanted to help you so that
When you woke up from your daze of pain
You would tell me you loved me

I didn’t deserve that
I fucked everything up; I got in the way for you
Nothing that I did for you made a difference anymore
Even if it had in the first place

When you became disgusted with me
I tried to hold on
I wished we were all each other had
So you wouldn’t slip through my fingers

You were the mature one
But at the same time
You hadn’t quite lost your innocence
Your awe and amazement

When some tragedy occurred
You had such a tough exterior
But all I could do was watch
As you tore yourself apart

You didn’t believe I understood you
You didn’t believe I really loved you
I should have convinced you, but I couldn’t
Before I could even try, you were gone

I never had the courage to tell you
I loved you
Maybe if you had known that you weren’t so alone
You’d still be with me

I see you every day
I see your fake façade
I want to ask,
“Are you still in pain?”

At first I thought it was all a dream
I hoped it was
But then I saw the reminders
I was so desperate

Your poems, your songs, your words
I hoped it all was a lie
I prayed that you weren’t suffering
As much as you told me you were

If you’re still hurting
And it wasn’t a lie
I could never help you
Even if I really had before

All I can do is hope that you’re okay
Strong on the inside and the surface
All I can do is hope and pray
And I hate to rely on hope

I can’t possibly ask you
I can’t tell you I still care
I can’t tell you that after all this time
I still love you just as much

Amrita Gupta has published 2 more terrible poems since joining on 30/11/99. Read more of Amrita's terrible poetry at the anthology. Here are three of Amrita's latest works: